Yes, we’ve read all your letters and fed all your emails through the toaster and we have finally caved in and decided to produce comedy about submarines. Shooting began last Saturday and involved cornflour, lipstick, a chicken kebab and an old typewriter. Have a look at a still from the work in progress, listen to the soundtrack, and remember ladies - this man is single and he owns his own submarine?

Hey? Hey? I’ll have him if you don’t want him.